Robin Link
by SSB-Episode-Writer
Summary: A parody of Disney's 1973 film, Robin Hood. Read it as Link robs from Prince Scrouge the Hedgehog in order to feed the poor. LinkxZelda in here!
1. Link and Hawkins

There have been changes to this story!

**The cast**:

**Robin Hood**: Link

**Maid Marian**: Princess Zelda

**Little John**: Harry "Hawkins" H. Holt

**Prince John**: Scrouge the Hedgehog

**Sheriff of Nottingham**: Dr. Eggman

**Sir Hiss**: Bocoe and Decoe

**Friar Tuck**: Father Mulcahy

**Lady Kluck**: Amy Rose

**Alan-a-Dale**: Sonic the Hedgehog

**Trigger and Nutsey**: Squidward Tentacles and SpongeBob SquarePants

**Skippy**: Colin (LoZ: TP)

**Toby**: Carl Wheezer

**Sis (tall rabbit girl)**: Beth (LoZ: TP)

**Tagalong (Little rabbit)**: Cream the Rabbit

* * *

**Chapter 1: Link and Hawkins**

"You know, there's been a heap of legends and tall tales about the hero Link. All different too," someone narrates. Speaking the speedy hedgehog, Sonic. "Well, we folks of the animal kingdom have our own version. It's the story of what really happened in Gameboy Forest."

Sonic begins strumming his guitar as we see the cast.

**Jason Griffith as Sonic the Hedgehog**

**Pete Capella as Scrouge the Hedgehog**

**Andrew Rannells and Darren Dunstan as Bocoe and Decoe**

**Joey Lawerence as Link**

**Amanda Bynes as Princess Zelda**

**Chris Pine as Hawkins**

**Lisa Ortiz as Amy Rose**

**William Christopher as Father Mulcahy**

**Dan Green as Kildar Hakann**

**Tom Kenny as SpongeBob SquarePants**

**Rodger Bumpass as Squidward Tentacle**

Sonic appears again as he leans against a post.

"Oh, incidentally, I'm Sonic the Hedgehog, a minstrel. That's an early-day folk singer," Sonic messes with his guitar. "And my job is to... tell it like it is," the string breaks on his guitar. "Or was or whatever."

Scene fades into two guys walking through a forest. One was blonde, about 17, and had green clothes and wore a sword and shield. The other had a navy blue colored shirt, teal pants and vest, dark brown hair, about 27, and wore a sword too. They were Link and Hawkins.

_Link and Hawkins walkin' through the forest_

_Laughin' back and forth at what the other'n has to say _

_Reminiscin' this 'n' that and havin' such a good time_

They walk onto a bridge and jump into a river.

_Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally _

_Golly, what a day _

_Never ever thinkin' there was danger in the water_

Coming out from behind the trees was the sheriff, Dr. Eggman and a bunch of guards. Link and Hawkins were drinking from the water and didn't notice the guards.

_They were drinkin' _

_They just guzzled it down _

_Never dreamin' that a schemin' sheriff and his posse _

_Was a-watchin' them and gatherin' around_

The guards pointed their bow and arrows at Link and Hawkins who had their hands up when they dove under water as arrows were shot at them.

_Link and Hawkins runnin' through the forest _

_Jumpin' fences, dodgin' trees and tryin' to get away_

Link and Hawkins ran from the guards as they jumped the fences and avoided the arrows. One arrow was following Hawkins as he ran faster from it. They came to a tree and jumped into it. The guards began looking for them. Hawkins started snickering when Link told him to hush.

_Contemplatin' nothin' but escapin' and finally makin' it _

_Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally _

_Golly, what a day_

_Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally _

_Golly, what a day_

The guards run away, failing to find the two fugitives.

"You know something, Link?" Hawkins asked as he pulled an arrow out of his vest. "You're taking too many chances."

"Chances? You must be joking," Link chuckled. "That was just a bit of a lark, Hawkins."

"Yeah? Take a look at your hat," Hawkins pointed at Link's head. "That's not a candle on a cake."

An arrow was Link's hat. He takes his hat and removes the arrow. "Hello. This one almost had my name on it, didn't it?" Link examines the hole on his hat. "They're getting better, you know. You've got to admit it. They are getting better."

Hawkins breaks the arrow in half. "Huh, yeah. The next time that sheriff'll probably have a rope around our necks," Hawkins said and makes a gagging noise. "Pretty hard to laugh hangin' there, Link."

"Ha! The sheriff and his whole posse couldn't catch you if you even if you had your motorcycle," Link said as he balances the arrow. "En garde!" Link throws the arrow at Hawkins.

"Hey, watch it, Link," Hawkins avoids the arrow. "One inch lower and I would've died."

"Oh, come along," Link relaxes. "You worry too much, buddy."

"You know something, Link? I was just wonderin," Hawkins thought and started scratching his back with the arrow tip. "Are we good guys or bad guys? You know. I mean, uh, our robbin' the rich to feed the poor."

"'Rob'?" Link gasped. He clicks his tongue. "Tsk, tsk, tsk, That's a naughty word. We never rob," Link answered. "We just... sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it." He said and rests on the tree limb.

"Borrow?" Hawkins asked and chuckled. "Huh. Boy, are we in debt."

Trumpet were sounding not far from their location as Link heard them and traveled higher up the tree. He pokes his head and listens as Hawkins comes up.

Link chuckles and says, "That sounds like another collection day for the poor. Eh, Hawkins, ol' buddy?"

"Yeah. Sweet charity," Hawkins smiled and chuckled as well.


	2. Prince Scrouge the Hedgehog

**Chapter 2**: Prince Scrouge the Hedgehog

A stage coach goes by as a bunch of guards are marching. Few were holding a treasure chest, others were pulling the coach, as more brought up the rear. Inside the coach was a green hedgehog with scars on his chest and two robots. He was grabbing coins and throwing them around.

"Taxes!" Scrouge laughs. "Taxes! Beautiful, lovely taxes!" he continues laughing.

"Sire, you have an absolute skill for encouraging contributions from the poor," the tall robot said.

"To coin a phrase, my dear counselor, rob the poor to feed the rich," Scrouge laughs again. "Am I right?" he elbows the tall robot. "Tell me, what is the next stop, Sir Decoe?"

The short robot walks over to a map.

"Uh, let me see. Uh, I- Oh! Yes. The next stop is Nintendo-ham, sire."

"Oh! The richest plum of them all," Scrouge said as he took a crown and stares at the mirror. "Nintendo-," he chuckles and puts on the crown. "-ham."

The crown droops over his face.

"A perfect fit, sire," Bocoe commented. "Most becoming."

"Yes!" Decoe agreed. "You look regal, dignified, sincere, masterful, noble, chival-"

"Uh, uh, don't, don't overdo it, Bocoe and Decoe," Scrouge said as he adjusted his ears and places the crown back on. The crown doesn't droop over his face. "There. That, I believe, does it. This crown gives me a feeling of power! Power!" Scrouge said loudly which caused Decoe too fall back with the mirror. "Forgive me a cruel chuckle," Scrouge said as he smiled evily. "Power. Hmm."

"And how well King Bruce's crown sits on your noble brow," Bocoe said.

"Doesn't it?" Scrouge took the mirror from Decoe and examined himself. "Uh, King Bruce?" Scrouge stopped. "I've told you never to mention my brother's name!" Scrouge pushed Bocoe in anger.

"He meant that as a-a mere slip of the forked tongue, Your Majesty," Decoe tried to cover Bocoe's butt. "We're in this plot together, if you don't mind my saying so."

"And remember, it was your idea I hypnotized him and-," Bocoe added.

"I know. And sent him off on that crazy crusade," Scrouge chuckled and laughed.

"Much to the sorrow of the Queen Mother," Decoe said.

"Yes! Mother," Scrouge stopped. "Mother always did like Bruce best," Scrouge grumbled as he began sucking on his thumb.

"Uh Your Highness, please don't do that," Bocoe begged. "If you don't mind my saying so, you see, you have a very loud thumb."

Scrouge ignored him.

"Maybe hypnotism could rid you of your... psychosis," Decoe said as he took out some weird machine. The machine had circles spinning around. "So. Easily," Decoe spoke slowly.

Scrouge began feeling sleepy. "No!" Scrouge woke up all of sudden. "None of that! None of that."

"Well, I was only trying to help," Decoe said.

"I wonder. Silly bucket head," Scrouge whispered.

"'Silly bucket head'?" Bocoe heard him.

"Now look here. One more weird thing coming out of you, Bocoe and Decoe, and you are walking to Nintendo-ham," Scrouge warned the two.

"Better believe it Bocoe or we're walking!" Decoe said as they walked to their corner.

"Tell that to yourself!" Bocoe said to him.

Meanwhile, dressing up as women were Link and Hawkins. Hawkins began putting on women's underwear as Link got on a dress. Hawkins then put on a wig as Link had earrings on. They came to the road as Hawkins was like "what?" A man walks by blowing his trumpet.

"Now what about that for luck? It's only a circus," Hawkins put on a bandana. "A peanut operation."

"'Peanuts'?" Link asked. "Why, you dunce. That's the royal coach. It's Prince Scrouge himself.

"The prince?" Hawkins wondered. "Wait a minute. There's a law against robbin' royalty," Hawkins walked away. "I'll catch you later."

Link ran in front of him to stop him. "What? And miss this chance to perform before royalty?" Link wondered and twirled.

"Ah! Here we go again," Hawkins sighed.

The stagecoach came closer as Link and Hawkins jumped into action.

"Oo-de-lally! Oo-de-lally! Fortune-tellers!" Link shouted in a lady like voice.

"Fortunes forecast! Lucky charms!" Hawkin yelled, in a lady's voice, tossing a cystal ball.

"Get the dope with your horoscope," Link took out a scroll.

Scrouge heard them as looked outside.

"Fortune-tellers! How droll. Uh, stop the coach," he ordered the men pulling the coach.

"Sire, sire, they may be bandits," Bocoe warned him.

"Oh, bull crap. Female bandits?" Scrouge wondered. "What next? Rubbish."

He chuckled as Link and Hawkins bowed.

"Um, um, my dear ladies, you have my permission to kiss the royal hands," Scrouge showed his hands full of jewelry. Link and Hawkins were wide-eyed and awed. "Whichever you like, first."

"Mmm! Oh! How gracious!" Link took one ring and kissed Scrouge's hand. "And generous."

"Gasping Sire! Sire!" Decoe gasped and began poking Scrouge. "Did you see what they-"

"Stop! Stop poking the heck out of me!" Scrouge ordered.

Hawkins kissed the jewelry off of Scrouge's rings. Bocoe Looked at Hawkins as he smiled nervously. Showing the jewelry.

Bocoe was speechless and began poking a lot on Scrouge. "DID YOU SEE THAT! DID YOU SEE THAT!" Bocoe shouted.

"OW!" Scrouge screamed. "Bocoe and Decoe! Oh, you've crossed the borderline!" Scrouge grabbed the two robots. He walked over to a chest and stuffed them in it.

"Nice going you lug-nut!" Decoe growled at Bocoe.

"Suspicious robots," Scrouge sneered.

"Masterfully done, Your Excellency," Link said as got onto the coach and closed the curtains. "Now close your eyes... and concentrate," Link said as Scrouge did as he was told. "Close your eyes. Tight shut. No peeking, sire. From the mists of time, come forth, spirits. Yoo-hoo!" Link was giving Hawkins a signal.

"Okay, little fireflies. Glow, babies, glow," Hawkins said as he shook the ball and reeled it in the coach like a fishing pole.

"We're waiting. Ah, oh! Look, sire. Look!" Link pointed at the ball.

"Oh! Incredible. Floating spirits," Scrouge was speechless as he wanted to touch it.

But Link slapped his hand. "Ah, oh!" Link chuckled. "Naughty, naughty. You mustn't touch, young man."

"Oh, how dare you strike the royal hand," Scrouge became angry.

Link covered Scrouge's mouth.

"Shh! You'll break the spell. Just gaze into the crystal ball," Link grabbed the ball. "Oo-de-lally! Oo-de-lal- Oh!" Link gasped. "A face appears," Link said.

He gasped as Scrouge looked in it. "A crown is on his noble brow," Link said.

"Oo-de-lally! A crown! How exciting!" Scrouge became excited.

"His face is handsome, regal, majestic, loveable, a cuddly face," Link continued. Hawkins was listening to the whole thing as he was like "excuse me?" "Handsome, regal, oh! Majestic."

"Loveable. Yes, yes," Scrouge said.

"Cuddly," Link added.

Scrouge laughed as Hawkins shook his head. "Oh, that's me to a "T". It really is. Yes," Scrouge became distracted as Link madea grabbed for a bag of gold Scrouge had.

In the chest, Bocoe and Decoe were having troubles opening the chest.

"Let me try!" Bocoe tried as he grabbed a gun.

"Wait!" Decoe stopped him as Bocoe pulled the trigger by accident. The ray went through the chest as nearly misses Link's hand but skid marks it. Link reacted to it.

"I-," Scrouge laughed but saw Link rubbing his hand. "Now what?"

Link gasps but chuckles. "I, uh- I see, um, your illustrious name."

Scrouge started to get impatient. "I know my name! Get on with it!" he shouted.

"Your name will go down, down, down," Link said as he grabbed the bag. "in history, of course." Link took the bag outside and gave it to Hawkins.

"Yes! I knew it! I knew it!" Scrouge cheered. "Do you hear that, Bocoe and Decoe? Oh, you-" Scrouge realized something. "Their in the chest," he walks over and bangs on the chest. Bocoe and Decoe react to it. "Don- Don't forget it."

Back outside, Hawkins was wandering around the coach as he examines the wheels.

"Hmm. What have we here?" he sees gold hupcaps. "Solid-gold hubcaps," Hawkins admired. He walked in front of one and begins unscrewing it. He walks over another and unscrews it too. "Oo-de-lally. The jackpot," Hawkins saw the chest.

Hawkins is under is the chest as he takes his Jewel Blade to open a hole at the bottom. He succeeds as he uses his shirt to hold the gold. One guard heard something and begins feeling suspicious. He then sees Hawkins who was walking like a lady. The guard makes a wolf whistle as Hawkins waves at him. Hawkins is behind the coach as he makes run for it. Meanwhile, Link runs out of the coach. The two fighters bump into each other as gold spews out onto the ground. They frantically get the gold back as Scrouge appears wearing nothing. He hears galloping as Link and Hawkins ride by on Epona. Link laughs at Scrouge.

"Robbed! I've been robbed!" Scrouge screams. "Bocoe and Decoe! You're never around when I need you! Bocoe and Decoe bust through the chest and run up to Scrouge. "Ahem. I've been robbed."

"Of course you've been robbed!" Bocoe said.

"Told you so!" Decoe sneered.

"Oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally!" Link cheers for victory.

"Fortunes forecast. Lucky charms," Hawkins reminded the guards again and waves at them.

The same guard waves back.

"After them, you fools!" Scrouge ordered.

The guards began running after the convicts as the people hauling the coach tried to catch up with him. The wheels on the coach began moving around and they fell off as Scrouge flies out of it. The guards step over him.

"No, no, no, no!" Scrouge cries.

"I knew it. I knew it. I just knew this would happen," Bocoe said.

""I tried to warn you, but, no. You wouldn't listen. You just had to-," Decoe agreed.

Scrouge got angry and threaten to hit the two robots with the mirror.

"Ah, ah, ah! Seven years' bad-," Bocoe freaked out. Scrouge hit them with the mirror. "Ooh! Luck. That's what it is."

"Besides, you broke your mother's mirror," Decoe reminded him.

"Mommy!" Scrouge wailed and cried. He began sucking on his thumb. "I've got a dirty thumb."


	3. Welcome to Nintendoham

**Chapter 3**: Welcome to Nintendo-ham

We see ourselves in Nintendo-ham as Sonic appears from behind a tree. The tree had a Wanted poster showing Link. Sonic chuckles, "Well, even though Prince Scourge offered a huge reward for the capture of Link, that elusive rogue kept right on robbin' the rich to feed the poor," Sonic points to a couple who were poor and the wife was feeding her husband with gruel. "And believe me, it's a good thing he did, 'cause what with taxes and all, the poor folks of Nintendo-ham were starvin' to death, "the camera moves to a man in the shape of an egg walking down happily. "Uh-oh. Here comes old bad news himself, the Honorable Sheriff of Nintendo-ham, Eggman."

Eggman was singing a little diddly.

_Every town_  
_Has its taxes too_  
_And the taxes is due_  
_Do do-do do do_

"Well, lookie there," he stops and sees a man with blonde hair and glasses looking around to see if there was anyone around. Eggman chuckles, "Father Mulcahy, the old do-gooder. He's out doin' good again."

Father Mulcahy walks into a blacksmith where we see Miles "Tails" Prower working. "Well, good mornin', Father Mulcahy," Tails greeted him.

"Shh, Tails. Shh!" Mulcahy pulls out a small bag filled with gold coins. "For you, Tails, from Link," Mulcahy hands Tails the bag and chuckles.

"Oh, God bless Link," Tails said.

Outside, we see Eggman walking up to the door humming, "Do do do do-do do dee do do-do."

He knocks on the door where he hear Father Mulcahy saying, "It's the sheriff! Hurry, hide it! Quick!"

"Here I come. Ready or not," Eggman sang. He walks in, acting nice. "Well, greetings from your friendly neighborhood tax collector."

"Oh, take it easy on me, Sheriff," Tails said and showed his leg that was bandaged, "w-what with this busted leg and all, you know. I-I'm way behind in me work, Sheriff."

Eggman smiled, "I know, Tails, but you're way behind with your taxes too."

"Oh, have a heart, Sheriff," Father Mulcahy begged. "Can't you see he's laid up? Come on, Tails. You'd better sit down and rest," Mulachy pulls up a chair.

Tails started limping towards the chair where we hear coins jangling in his cast. Eggman could hear it as well. "Oh, thank you. Yes."

As Tails sat down Eggman pulls a stool and sat down in front of Tails. "Let me give you a hand with that leg. Upsa-daisy," He pulls Tails' leg up and coins started falling out of the cast. "Upsa-daisy. Bingo!" Mulcahy freaks when Eggman found the coins. "Ah, what they won't think of next." Eggman starts pounding on Tails' cast without thinking of his pain. Tails starts groaning until the last coin came out and onto Eggman's hand. "It smarts, don't it, Tails? But Prince John says that taxes should hurt."

Mulcahy loses his temper and says, "Now see here, you- you evil, flint-hearted leech!"

Eggman said, "Now, now, now, now! Save your sermon, preacher. It ain't Sunday, you know."

Eggman leaves and chuckles while singing his diddly again

_Do do do-do do_  
_They call me a slob, but I do my job_  
_Do do do-do do_

Somewhere in Nintendo-ham at a small house we hear children singing a song.

_Happy birthday to you_  
_Happy birthday to you_  
_Happy birthday, dear Colin_

Inside were children dancing around. Colin, the birthday boy, was given a birthday present by his mother, Uli. The celebration ended abruptly when Eggman burst in, finishing the song.

_Happy birthday_  
_To you_

"Well, now, sonny, that box is done up right pretty, ain't it?" Eggman commented.

"Well, Mr. Sheriff, sir, it's my birthday present, sir," Colin said bleakly.

"It sure is. Why don't you open it?"

Colin opens the present and gasped, "Oh, boy! One whole coin!"

Colin dumps the coin out to take it but Eggman's hand comes out of nowhere and takes it away.

Uli lost her temper as Colin begins to cry. "Have you no heart? We all scrimped and saved to give it to him."

"Now that's mighty thoughtful of you, "widder" woman," Eggman sneered. "The family that saves together pays together." Colin stares at the empty box as Eggman "tries" to comfort him. "Oh, now, don't take it so hard, sonny. Prince Scourge wishes you a happy birthday too."

A blind man walks into the house and says, "Alms, alms, alms for the poor."

Eggman sees that the man's cup had coins in it. "Hmm. Well." He smacks the coin into the cup and a few more came out and into his hand. Uli gasps as Eggman said, "Well, so far it's been a cheerful morning. Keep savin'!" He walks out.

"What a dirty trick," Uli growled. "You poor old man," she walks up to the man and helps him in. "Do come in. Come in and rest yourself."

"Thank ye kindly, Mother. Thank ye," said the blind man. "Tell me now. Did me old ears hear someone singin' a birthday ditty?"

Colin sniffed and said, "Yes, sir. And that mean old sheriff took my birthday present."

"Did he now?" the man patted Colin's head. "But be a stouthearted little lad, and don't let it get ya down," the man removed his glasses and the man turns out to be Link!

"Gee whiz! It's Link!" Colin gasped.  
Link removed his disguise and cheered, "Happy birthday, son!"

Beth, a girl, said dreamily, "Oh, he's so handsome, just like his reward posters."

"Tell me, young man, how old are you today?"

"Gosh, I'm seven years old, goin' on eight," Colin said proudly.

"Seven?" Link gasped. "Well, that does make you the man of the house, and I've got just the right present for you," Link takes out a bow and arrow.

"For me?" Colin asked and takes the bow and arrow. "Gee, thanks, Mr. Link sir," he pulls the arrow back. "Hey, how do I look? Huh?"

"Not much like Mr. Link," said Cream the Rabbit.

"She's right. There is something missing," Link said and began thinking. He gasps, "Of course!" he takes his cap and places it on Colin's head. "There you go."

"Boy, oh, boy. Now how do I look?" Colin asked.

Beth giggles to Cream, "The hat's too big."

"Shh! Mind your manners," Uli said.

"Yes, mind your manners," Cream said innocently.

Link chuckles, "Don't worry. You'll grow into it, young man."

"Oo-de-lally! I'm gonna try it out," Colin said and ran out of the house.

Cream follows Colin and said, "Good-bye, Mr. Link! Come again on my birthday!"

Uli laughs, "Oh, you have made his birthday a wonderful one. How can I ever thank you?"

"I only wish I could do more," Link said and hands her a small bag of coins. "Here. And keep your chin up. Someday there'll be happiness again in Nintendo-ham. You'll see," Link said while putting his disguise on again and walking out, acting like a blind man.

"Oh, Link. You've risked so much to keep our hopes alive. Bless you. Bless you," Uli said, crying.


	4. Meeting Princess Zelda

**Chapter 4**: Meeting Princess Zelda

Colin is running through the town with Beth, Cream, and Carl Wheezer, another friend. Colin runs to a field, ready to try out his present Link gave him.

"Gee, did Link really give it to you?" Carl asked.

"Yeah, and this is his own hat too," Colin said, waving the hat around.

"Gee, I'd sure like to shoot your bow and arrow," Carl said. "But I'm afraid I could hurt myself."

"Let me try it, Colin," Cream offered.

"Oh, no, you don't? I'm gonna shoot it first," Colin said and pulled the arrow back.

"You're pointin' it too high," Beth warned him.

"I'm not either. Watch this," Colin said and released the arrow. The arrow flew up into the sky and landed somewhere over the castle wall.

"Uh-oh. Now you done it," Carl gasped.

"Right in Prince Scourge's backyard," Beth whispered to Colin.

Colin ran towards the castle and ran up a gate. Beth, Cream, and Carl caught with him.

"Skippy, you can't go in there," Beth said.

"Yeah. Prince Scourge will chop off your head," Carl said. "I can't even imagine what is like!"

"Oh, I don't care. I gotta get my arrow," Colin said and tried to go between the bars.

"Wait a minute. Carl might tattle on you," Beth said.

"Yeah, Carl. You gotta take the oath," Colin agreed.

"An oath?" Carl wondered.

"Put your hand on your heart and cross your eyes," Cream said.

Colin and Beth followed the procedure as Colin recited the line, "Spiders, snakes and a lizard head."

"Spiders, snakes and a lizard's head," Carl repeated.

"If I tattletale, I'll die till I'm dead," Colin said, getting up in Carl's face.

"If I tattletale, I'll die till I'm dead," Carl squeaked.

After that, Colin went in to get his arrow. As he was getting closer inside, he began hearing women giggling.

"It's your turn to serve, Zelda," said a voice.

"Are you ready, Lady Amy?"

Answering was a pink hedgehog in a royalty dress. "Oh, as your lady-in-waiting, I'm waiting."

She and another women laughed again as Amy served. Playing against Amy was beautiful princess named Princess Zelda. While she and Amy were playing badminton, Colin spotted his arrow and tip-toed towards it.

"I'm getting too old for this," Amy groaned.

"Amy, that was a good shot," Zelda complimented.

"You're not bad yourself, dear. Oh, my corset's killing me," Amy said as Zelda whacked the birdie. She noticed she whacked it a little too hard as it flew high into the air. Amy was in place to whack it when it fell into her dress. Amy panicked and started jumping around to get it out of her dress.

"Where is it? Did you lose it?" Zelda asked while laughing.

"It must be in there someplace," Amy said, still jumping around.

"Oh, Amy, you look so silly," Zelda giggled.

Colin was about to grab his arrow when Amy said, "Oh, look. There it is behind you."

Just as Colin made his move, Zelda appeared in front of him, trying to take the birdie which apparently landed next to the arrow. "Oh! Well, hello. Where did you come from?" she asked.

Colin knew he was in trouble and started bawling like baby. "Oh, please don't tell Prince Scourge. Mama said he'll chop off my head."

"Oh, don't be afraid. You've done nothing wrong," Zelda said.

"Oh, Zelda, what a cute little kid," Amy commented.

"Who does this young archer remind you of?" Zelda asked.

Amy gasped, "Well, I'll be, the notorious Link."

"That's right. Only Link wears a hat like that," Zelda nodded.

"Yeah, and look at this keen Link bow," Colin said, showing off his bow.

Cream then sneezes as Amy hears her and turns to Zelda. "Oh, Zelda, don't look around, but I do believe we're surrounded."

"Oh, mercy!" Zelda gasped.

"He snitched on us," Beth groaned.

"It's all right, children. Don't be afraid. Please come here," Zelda waved to them.

"Do you think it's safe?" Carl asked.

"That's Princess Zelda," Cream said.

"Mama said she's really nice. Come on!" Beth said and she and Carl walked in and ran towards the group.

"Hey, you guys, not so fast. Wait for me," Cream said.

"I told Colin he was shooting too high," Beth said.

"I'm so very glad he did," Zelda said as Carl waved shyly at her. "Now I get to meet all of you."

"Gee, you're very beautiful," Cream commented.

"Are you gonna marry Link?" Beth asked.

"Mama said you and Link are sweethearts," Cream noted.

Zelda stopped and replied, "Well, um-," she laughs nervously. "You see, that was several years ago before I left for Hyrule."

"Did he ever kiss you?" Carl asked.

"Well, uh, no," Zelda shook her head. "But he carved our initials on this tree," Zelda shows them a tree that had "L+Z" with a heart made around it. "I remember it so well."

"You gonna have any kids?" Colin asked.

"Oh, he's probably forgotten all about me," Zelda said sadly.

"Oh, not Link," Colin said, pulling out a wooden sword. "I bet he'll storm the castle gates, fight the guards, rescue ya and drag you off to Gameboy Forest."

"Now just a moment there, young man. You've forgotten Prince Scourge," Amy said.

"That old Prince Scourge don't scare me none," Colin said bravely.

Carl cowered behind Zelda. "I'm scared of Prince Scourge. He's cranky."

"Ah, ah, ah, ah!" Amy laughed in a strange voice while using a stick as a sword. "I, Prince Scourge, challenge you to a duel. Hey, hey!" she starts wacking Colin's sword. "Take that! And that! And this!"

Colin stood there for a second before shouting, "Death to tyrants!"

"Och! Och, och!" Amy gasped and started running from Colin.

"Slice him to pieces!" Beth shouted.

"Oh, save me, my hero. Save me," Zelda said, playing along.

Colin giggled as he whacked Amy's foot. "Oh! Ouch! That's not fair," she complained. "Mommy!" whining like Scourge as she started sucking her thumb.

"That's Prince John, all right," Beth said, laughing.

"Yahoo! Now I got ya!" Colin said, finishing Amy off.

"Och, mercy! Mercy! Oh!" Amy grabs Colin's sword and "stabs" herself. "Oh, he got me. I'm dying. Oh!" Amy falls to the ground.

"Did I hurt you? Huh?" Colin asked.

"No, this is the part where you drag your lady fair off to Gameboy Forest," Amy reminds him.

"Come on, lady fair! Let's go!" Colin grabs Zelda's hand.

Zelda follows him while saying, "Oh, Link, you're so brave and impetuous."

"Oh," they sit in a small bush. "So this is Gameboy Forest," Zelda looks around.

"Yeah, I guess so," Colin said. "Well, now what are we gonna do?"

"Well, usually the hero gives his fair lady a kiss," Zelda said, puckering her lips up.

"A kiss? Oh, that's sissy stuff," Colin said, being grossed out.

"Well, if you won't, then I will," Zelda said, taking Colin and kissing him on the cheek as Colin tried to escape.

"They're kissing!" Beth shouted.

The three started giggling and laughing as Colin wiped Zelda's kiss off and glaring at them. The three continued before passing out as Beth sighed.


	5. News From Father Mulcahy

**Chapter 5**: News from Father Mulcahy

With the kids back home, Zelda is looking out from her room in the castle. she turns around and begins dancing around as if she was with another. Amy is watching her as she is knitting something. "Ah, love," Amy said dreamily. "Oh, it's a wonderful thing."

Zelda stops dancing and opens her closet. the door had a Wanted poster of Link. Zelda looks at his picture and said, "Oh, Amy, surely he must know how much I still love him."

"But, of course, Zelda. Believe me," Amy said as Zelda smile, "someday soon, your cousin, King Bruce, will have an outlaw for an in-law."

Amy and Zelda laughed as Zelda said, "Oh, Amy. But when? When?"

"Oh, patience, Zelda. Patience. Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder."

Zelda's smile didn't last long for she said sadly, "Or forgetful. Oh, I've been away so long," she walks to her window and stares up in the sky. "What if he's forgotten all about me?"

Well, it turns out Link didn't forget Zelda because he was humming in a dream state while stirring the soup. Not far from, Hawkins was busy with the laundry as he said, "Hey, lover boy. How's that grub comin'? Man, I'm starved." Link wasn't listening and continues humming. "Link? Link?" Hawkins looks over at Link. "Liiink?" He notices Link is in a dream state and shouts, "Hey!"

Link wakes up and goes, "Hmm? What? What do you say?"

"Aw, forget it. Your mind's not on food," Hawkins said. "You're thinkin' about somebody with long eyelashes," he said while blinking his eyes fast, "and you're smellin' that sweet perfume." While Hawkins said that, the soup started burning and made a trail of smoke heading towards Hawkins. He starts sniffing it and then begins coughing.

"Hey, whoa!" Link gasped and tried to grab the soup but couldn't because the pot was burning hot. "It's boiling over!"

"You're burnin' the chow!" Hawkins shouted, grabbing the pot with one of their clothes and starts waving the smoke away.

"Sorry, Hawkins," Link said while rubbing the stains off of his clothes. "Guess I was thinking about Princess Zelda again. I can't help it. I love her, Hawkins."

Hawkins began pouring water into the soup while saying, "Look, why don't you stop moonin' and mopin' around?" He throws the shirt that he used to carry the soup at Link. "Just- Just marry the girl."

Link takes the shirt off his face. "Marry her? You don't just walk up to a girl, hand her a bouquet and say, 'Hey, remember me? We were kids together. Will you marry me?'," Link chuckles. "No. It just isn't done that way."

"Aw, come on, Link. Climb the castle walls," Hawkins suggested while looking at a burnt piece of food. He throws it away while offering more suggestions. "Sweep her off her feet. Carry her off in style."

Link sighs while looking at the stained shirt. "It's no use, Hawkins. I've thought it all out, and...it just wouldn't work. Besides, what have I got to offer her?"

Hawkins smells the food and gags. "Well, for one thing, you can't cook."

"I'm serious, Johnny. She's a highborn lady of quality," while Link was talking, Father Mulcahy walks up to the two and hear the two conversating.

"So she's got class? So what?" Hawkins shrugs.

"I'm an outlaw, that's what. That's no life for a lovely lady. Always on the run. What kind of a future is that?" Link asked.

Father Mulcahy joins in, startling Link. "Oh, for heaven's sake, son. You're no outlaw. Why, someday you'll be called a great hero."

"A hero?" Link laughed. "Do you hear that, Hawkins? We've just been pardoned."

Hawkins laughs, "That's a gas. We ain't even been arrested yet."

"All right. Laugh, you two rogues. But there's gonna be a big to-do in Nintendo-ham," Father Mulcahy takes a spoon and tries the soup. Father Mulcahy starts coughing and starts crying from the horrible taste. "Well done, ain't it? Old Prince Scourge's havin' a championship archery tournament tomorrow," Mulachy said while coughing more.

"Archery tournament? Ha!" Hawkins puts the his apron away. "Old Link could win that standin' on his head, huh, Link?"

Link bows and says, "Thank you, Hawkins. But I'm sure we're not invited."

"No, but there's somebody..." Mulcahy coughs while trying the soup again, "who'll be very disappointed if you don't come."

Hawkins chuckles, "Yeah, old Egg-Face, the Honorable Sheriff of Nintendo-ham."

"No, Princess Zelda," Mulcahy said.

"Princess Zelda?" Link gasped.

"Yeah. She- She's gonna give a kiss to the winner," Mulcahy said, laughing.

"Kiss to the winner!" Link gasped again. "Oo-de-lally! Come on, Hawkins! What are we waiting for?" Link started doing cart-wheels.

"Whoa, wait a minute, Link. Hold it. That place will be crawlin' with soldiers," Hawkins warned him.

Link jumps onto a cart with his bow and arrow. "Aha! But, remember: faint hearts never won fair ladies. Fear not, my friends," Link fires an arrow as it starts ricocheting around the trees and up into the air. "This will be my greatest performance."


End file.
